Thursday, July 20, 2006

A collection of the more amusing and strange porn spams

Porn spam is once again on the rise. Here's a summary of what I'm seeing these days broken down in to neat categories.


New start out specific nest of y0ung girls

I wasn't aware that young girls lived in nests. I wonder what they build them out of? I'm guessing discarded cloth, twigs and saliva. That web site probably isn't safe for work viewing, that idea makes Japanese porn seem boring.

Brutal d01ls worldwide

Not sure this is porn actually, I think I already own one of these brutal dolls. It's a toy (okay, it's a doll) based on a the character Grom Hellscream. A pretty brutal toy even if his rubber axe has a habit of bending a bit.


(This is a series of spam emails who's subjects always consist of "Success, ". This has led to subject likes "Success, world war" (yeah, we're all happy when another of those comes along), "Success, way freight" and so on.

Subject: Success, writing lesson

Your cre dit doesn't matter to us! If you OWN real est ate
and want IMMEDIATEK cash to spend ANY way you like, or simply wish
to LOWER your monthly paym ents by a third or more, here are the dea ls
we have TODAY (hurry, these ofers will expre TONIGHT):

$488,000.00 at a 3.67,% fixed-rateL
$372,000.00 at a 3.90,% variable-rateA
$492,000.00 at a 3.21,% interest-onlyS
$248,000.00 at a 3.36,% fixed-rate1
$198,000.00 at a 3.55,% variable-rateY

Hurry, when these deals are gone, they are gone Simply fill out this one-min ute form...

Don't worry about approval, your cre dit will not disqualify you!

I think they spoke to early. I'm happy that the spam writer considers their writing lessons to be a success but on reading their mail I doubt they were paying much attention in class. Mind you, a they aren't as stupid as the twats who'd fall for such an obvious scam.

"Wow, a bank I've never heard of before sent me an email typed by baboons and proof-read by a professional footballer which promised me a mortage without knowing where I live, who I am or what my current financial situation is. I'd better be quick and go to this web site and give them my personal financial details including my bank account number and any other information a criminal would need to rob me blind. Reminds me, I need to buy some lottery tickets later, better stop at the fortune teller to see what numbers I'll use."


These are emails from a chap who's mother and girlfriend add up to fewer than two people. Problem still only two if you add his sister. They're particularly amusing since they seem like very poorly translated lyrics from a hentai film theme tune.

Withb my shot on inside mothers rear wide outlet I had eat seeds running falling out of her.

Okay, the idea itself is pretty unpleasant but you've got to enjoy the English. Rear wide outlet? Does anyone in the world actually refer to their arse in this way or does his mother have some kind of special arse that alone deserves this name?

Because with mome indeed allows
myself to desrtoy all enters with strongr attacks.

They're keeping it in the family still but what the fuck are they keeping in the family? I am honestly baffled by this text.

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